on the way home after working few hours overtime, i took out my slim copy of a room of one's own. it must be my third or fourth time reading it, pages are folded to mark the passages i liked--which are most pages. the last part i read today is when vw talks about how if mrs. seton and her mother and her mother's mother had contributed money the way men for generations have had towards education, then women would be feasting on wonderful meals and be inspired enough to write well. then i had to get off from the subway & transfer to a bus.

then on the bus i started to think, i considered the famous quote from the book--"the human frame being what it is, heart, body and brain all mixed together, and not contained in separate compartments as they will be no doubt in another million years, a good dinner is of great importance to good talk. one cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. the lamp in the spine does not light on beef and prunes." what follows is what i last read on the train and i thought to myself that perhaps that's the macrocosm of the body that should be well fed. as men are in this world, so there are women. if one part suffers, the other, also. if we are all to go to heaven and meet vandyke round the next corner then men as well as women should be "fed" well. in vw's world women are deprived and the whole world is amiss--it's only when the women are equally satisfied as men that we can all be inspired and have more shakespeares.

..or not. just a thought.

i plan on spending what little hours i have left of the night to read the last third of the girl who kicked the hornet's nest. happy 34th birthday, lisbeth salander.
 

new museum. new encounters.
new show. i love new girl. cuz i love zooey deschanel. but i just can't concentrate now as i'm sippin' on this toasted walnut loose tea i picked up today at davidstea & trying out for the first time.
new song. free on amazon. rhye, "3 days".
revisited shakespeare. picked up a book. now that's not so new.
but still. paolo's new. at least new to me.

i discovered a new museum in the city full of museums. i've passed by columbus circle so many times in the past & don't know why i haven't noticed this one until now.
met up with a friend this week whom i haven't seen in years. he suggested that i take a solo vacation for change. i nodded but he knew already that i won't do it. that's what friends are for, i think. to know who you are even before you know yourself. even after all these years.

i happened to flip through channels last night and caught sung si kyung singing on yu huiyeol's sketchbook (us is behind on korean programs by about a month..) his voice gives this yang hee eun's song a different color, different story--not so indignant, with deepened sadness.. while yang hee eun sings from a distance, sung si kyung invokes empathy. the pain he sings is tangible. i just froze and listened to the autumn approaching through the song.
it's almost here.

aroma espresso bar coffee on a tuesday morning makes me forget that i'm here.
good bye pike. you've been too real (and too easily available).

sometimes you just gotta settle for the hot pink nail polish that's lasted you a week & orange colored post-its you scribble on and just roll with the punches.
mind the nails. the little things. the "little" people.

i do know where you go
is where i wanna be
 

 
i just want to float,
float, float away.
 

arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
see! the winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our lands.
the fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.

from song of songs
 

i caught myself humming "fields of gold" today at work & wondered about the people of the older generation and their quality of life (why? i have no idea). i figured they must've had much easier and relaxed time than how we live today--esp in nyc--so much more so that they had time to sing songs & write poetry.. it's all silliness to think this, of course. it's just, i had such a bad day today. one of those few days when i want to quit everything in life and run off to nowhere--or fields of barley to do God only knows what. my mind wandered to find an escape somewhere, some place, in some time tangible past or present.

but it isn't found & i'm still looking for it.. "hope against hope".